Step In To Christmas

I always like to share the round robin letter that we put in our Christmas cards. So, for those of you not on our card list this year, here it is. Happy Christmas.

After gaining several PhDs and mapping the human genome while still at school, Annalie started University this year and travelled up to Oxford in September. She then realised she had got on the wrong train, changed at Oxford, and took another to Leeds. Like most students Annalie takes pot every day. She says the noodles are quick and easy to heat. She is studying English, and hopes to be able to speak it fluently soon. Annalie has joined the University cheerleading squad where her spelling has improved immensely.

Luisa is studying Mathematics. A typical question might be “As the time it takes Luisa to get out of bed in the morning gets longer, and as her after school detentions increase, explain why her mum and dad’s tempers get inversely shorter.” She is studying the role of Maths on fitness, and in her prelim GCSE exam when asked “If John has thirty three cakes and eats twenty eight of them what does he have?” Luisa wrote “A huge bum”. Since turning 15 she has become a clothes designer – she has designs on stealing clothes from everyone in the house.

Debbie is still working hard at QVC, which for those who don’t watch TV is a cerebral, educational station dedicated to alleviating poverty and doing good works. Her legendary sense of direction has taken her all over the world this year, which would be fine if she hadn’t simply been trying to drive to work. Debbie’s fitness level has now soared to below average through her gym visits and dietary classes. When asked what unwanted fat was usually found in cells she answered “Scousers”.

Paul continues to devise quizzes for TV. His latest involves a lot of money but no skill. He’s calling it Arsenal. His sartorial elegance and colour blindness cost the family dearly after Debbie recently dropped him at the airport and was fined for littering. Paul has combined his two interests, napping and nosiness, and taken a part time job as a sleeping policeman. Unfortunately when drivers recognise who it is they speed up.

Molly, our cat, is currently starring in panto for our local amateur dramatic society which is putting on The Lion King. She is playing Simba. In the new year she’s doing The Devil Wears Primark and Alice In Poundland. Molly has decorated our house for Christmas and, if you visit, you are very welcome to take any of the festive furballs as a souvenir.   


All of us Coias wish you a very Happy Christmas and a prosperous 2013