Another Rock 'n' Roll Christmas

And so this is Christmas.

For my final blog of the year I thought I'd share with you the "round robin" letter that we put inside our Christmas cards this year. The purpose of these seems to be to boast about yourself and your kids, but we don't have anything to boast about so we had to make it all up. See what you think. And from me and all the family, a very Happy Christmas to you and yours.


Christmas 2011

Dear Friends,

What a year we’ve had.

After winning the Nobel Prize, Annalie turned seventeen this year and took her driving test. We are very proud and happy to say her examiner is now out of hospital, and hopes are high that his breakdown will soon be just a memory. Two of the three elderly pedestrians who swerved their zimmer frames in to her car are now walking again. At school we’re delighted that Annalie is working really, really hard at getting to classes on time and she is now in the top five per cent of her year alphabetically.

Luisa is now fourteen and spent an afternoon signing books in Waterstones recently. Unfortunately they threw her out as it appears you need to ask permission first. She has started a singing career and performs weekly in Convent Garden – that’s the small back yard at the Holy Cross nunnery. The nuns’ chickens are now laying profusely, showing that Luisa has the Eggs Factor. She plays competitively for her school at Statues, otherwise known as Netball, and has earned the nickname “Beaujolais” from her team mates as she has matured in to a good whine.

Debbie is still working at shopping channel QVC and was head hunted this year by a household name retailer who said her image suited their business perfectly. After careful consideration Debbie turned the 99p Store down and now has her sights set higher; she is hoping for an offer from Poundland. Debbie has recently taken up Zumba classes and has earned the nickname Nijinski, not because she dances like the Russian ballet dancer but because she moves like a dead racehorse.

Paul spent a lot of time indoors this year, but after his release he travelled extensively, setting off airport security alarms with his brand new ankle bracelet. He very much appreciates Debbie and says a more vivacious, intelligent, beautiful carer he could not wish for. He has taken to social media and his ambition is to grow his number of Facebook friends, though he says four is apparently quite respectable.  

Molly, our cat, did some stunt double work in the new Puss In Boots movie this year and, after putting on a bit of weight, is currently on loan to Edinburgh Zoo’s Panda enclosure. If you wish to make a donation to her food bill please contact them directly.


All the Coias wish you a very Happy Christmas and a Healthy 2012.