Sorry I'm A Lady

“Wanted. Toff with common touch. No sense of humour needed but should be able to make small talk and pretend to be interested in people. Opportunity to collect lots of air miles. Starting salary ridiculously high. Must be eccentric. Dressing up box provided.”

I imagine that’s how the Royal Family might advertise a job if

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Party Fears Two

Good music engages the emotions. Listening to Nessun Dorma will probably make your spine tingle if it’s sung properly, when Walking On Sunshine comes on the radio everyone seems to smile, and hearing Dance With My Father will either make you cry or throw up depending on how much cynicism you have in the bank.

But even rubbish music

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The Eye Of The Tiger

Last Saturday I compered a charity concert in my home town of Glasgow. I felt straight at home as my cab driver beamed “You’re Paul Coia. Nice to see you.” And then, because it’s Glasgow, came the put down line as he said, “ I thought you were dead.” Brilliant.

Afterwards I was sitting in a mini bus, squeezed between singers

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Strangers In The NIght

What a day Friday was. We woke to find that the UK had scored an own goal, with none of our political party leaders winning enough votes to get promoted to captain of the first team and help Great Britain escape relegation. We’re in a bigger mess than this metaphor.

Now we have rival Westminster squad players, who detest each other,

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Swear To God

Who, apart from someone with no friends, would want to go in to politics?

Any time I say this to friends who are journalists they tell me I should be less cynical and more interested as these things determine the future of the country and the world my kids will live in. I’ll then say something like “fine, why don’t you get

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Back Home

It felt a bit like a Hollywood movie last week with volcanic ash menacingly making its way across Europe. If the Russians wanted to invade then that was the time to do it as Wing Commander Johnny Hero sipped tea and James Bond remained stuck at his skiing chalet waiting for it to blow over.

I still think it was an insurance scam by the

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